Toot, toot

Looking through Autumn's emails and she wrote one to herself:

People look at me like I'm drunk and stupid, but I just made a fart! *toot toot* 999,999,999 times!!!!

Autumn-1; Mom-0

Autumn's eating ice cream. Chocolate all over her face.

I say, "Your face is a mess."

She says, "YOUR face is a mess."

Autumn-1; Mom-0

The right idea

Autumn was getting changed into her pj's and asked me to take the tags off a new t-shirt she got for her birthday. I asked her why she was wearing her new shirt to bed. She says, "So tomorrow when I wake up, all I gotta do is put pants on."

Taste test

"Ya know what else tastes like cardboard? The little pieces of bread you get at church."

A Birthday Message

Salad? Ridiculous!

"I don't eat lettuce. Pshh rabbit food!"

Six. Mr Six.

While most 9yr old girls want to be "pretty" things on Halloween...Autumn said she wants to be the old man from the Six Flags commercials.

Oh, George!

Autumn talking about money:

"George Washington is on 3 things. Abraham Lincoln is on 2. George Clooney....wait, he's not a president."

Hobo

Walking past a van with an older dirty looking man who has a big gray beard and Autumn says, "That guy looks like a hobo."

Wet ones

Autumn starts making fart noises with her armpit. Then says, "They sound like wet ones if you do it right after you get out of the shower."

It's a hard knock life

Me: "You gotta get in the shower."

Autumn: "My life is already bad enough, you don't need to make it worse."

Summer plans

Me: "I wanna do lots this summer like go to the beach, the aquarium, and the zoo!"
Autumn: "And see a pregnant old man!?"

Me: "What!?"

Autumn: "I dunno, I'm just making stuff up."

Autumn's favorite winter activity

"Going to a ski resort, on top of the mountain with a bear puppet on strings and attacking all the people."

So tired, must be drunk!

Leaving Dave&Busters...

Autumn: "Aw man, I feel like I'm drunk."

Me: "Why?"

Autumn: "I'm really tired and we were there for a long time."